FEATURE — When someone you know is even possibly suicidal, initiating a conversation can be intimidating but crucial.
Here’s what the QPR Institute and years of research show are the four most effective questions to prevent suicide: What happened to you? Why now? With what in mind? Why not now? These questions at first seem scary but open up a dialogue and provide a pathway towards safety and understanding.
What happened to you?
Start the conversation by asking, “What happened to you?” Encourage them to share without judgment. If they hesitate, use prompts like “Please tell me more” or “Can you say more about that?” to keep the conversation flowing. This question helps you grasp the underlying issues and sets the stage for finding solutions to prevent suicide.
Why now?
Probe gently with “Why now?” to understand the timing of their struggles. Whether recent events or longstanding issues, this question helps you identify the catalyst for their distress. It’s essential to recognize if something specific has intensified their emotions, guiding your response to provide the necessary support and prevent thoughts of suicide.
With what?
Address the specifics by asking, “With what?” This question explores whether they’ve thought about a method or means of suicide. In most cases, they have not thoughtfully explored the method, but by bringing up this topic early on, you may prevent further planning and guide them toward professional help and intervention. Keep the conversation straightforward and focused on preventing suicide.
Why not now?
Shift the focus to reasons for living with, “Why not now?” This is the key and the one to really focus on. Encourage them to disclose protective factors – connections with others, meaningful relationships or anything serving as a buffer against suicide. Identifying these reasons can help reinforce their resilience and provide a foundation for the reason to seek professional help to end their suicidal ideas.
Conclusion
Throughout the conversation, reassure them that they are not weird for having suicidal thoughts. Everyone feels this way either regularly or at some point in their life. It simply means they are in a painful situation they don’t know how to escape.
They also need to know they can’t get rid of suicidal thoughts on their own. By using the “What happened to you? Why now? With what in mind? Why not now?” approach, you create an opportunity for connection and support in preventing suicide.
Written by JOE NEWMAN for Life Launch Centers. This article originally appeared on Jan. 10, 2024, on the Life Launch Centers blog.
Resources
If you or someone you know is in danger because of suicidal thoughts or actions, call 911 immediately. Suicide is an emergency that requires help by trained medical professionals and should always be treated seriously.
Nationwide suicide hotlines, 988, 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) and 1-800-273-TALK (8255), have counselors available 24/7. The Southwest Behavioral Health Center also offers help for Southern Utah residents; call 800-574-6763 or 435-634-5600.
Other resources include Suicide.org, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the American Association of Suicidology. All provide comprehensive information and help on the issue of suicide, from prevention to treatment to coping with loss.
Copyright Life Launch Centers.