ST. GEORGE —The holiday season is a time to spend with family and friends, good food, and a chance to decompress from the daily hustle-and-bustle of life, but for those battling mental health issues or substance abuse, it can be a bleak and isolated time of the year.

Patrick Gonzales, a retired expert in the field of mental health and substance abuse, with more than 40 years of experience, knows better than most that the end of the year – between Thanksgiving and Christmas – even during normal times – can present challenges that test the strongest commitment to sobriety.

“This time of year we do see an increase in issues that arise during the holidays for a variety of reasons,” Gonzales said.

While some who struggle with drug abuse and alcoholism do not suffer from mental challenges, breaking free from addiction of any kind can often be an uphill battle, Gonzales said.

Loneliness, anxiety and depression, add into the mix COVID, and increasing levels of food insecurity, coupled with shorter daylight hours during winter and people can fill the void with alcohol and drugs, Gonzales added.

“Because of its ease to legally purchase alcohol it’s especially a problem for anyone suffering from substance abuse,” he said.

According to the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation — the largest nonprofit organization helping people overcome addiction — it is important for those in recovery to prepare a plan to support and protect sobriety ahead of key holiday events.

Setting up support meetings ahead of time is important, Gonzales said.

“You have to have a good support system,” he said. “That’s why mental health counselors try to engage family involvement. If you don’t have a good support system it’s hard to make it through the recovery process. Without a support system, the chance of succeeding is going to be very minimal. Positive people behind you are vital in remaining clean and sober.”

Talking with sponsors, friends, or a professional counselor about the emotions and expectations wrapped up in the holiday season is key to maintaining sobriety.

This is called “calculating reality,” Gonzales said.

Substance abuse professionals realize the holidays will not look like when you were 6-years-old and racing to open presents under the Christmas tree. As adults we are often tired, stressed, possibly depressed and sometimes reliving past holiday disappointments that hang in the air.

Awareness of the challenges will help lower expectations, Gonzales said.

Instead of entering a holiday event on the defensive, orient thinking to be on the offensive: What is the next right thing for me to do in this situation? Be aware that some people are most vulnerable after the holidays. The stress and resentments that may come up over the holidays can lead to rationalization to abuse a drug of choice.

Understanding the emotional complexities of the holidays is an important ingredient in long-term success, Gonzales said. “You really have to change your thought process and sometimes you have to sever relationships that are basically going to put you right back where you were.”

“It can be the hardest thing to do, surrounding yourself with positive people and a good support system,” he said. “If you don’t have this you need to find people who have been through the pitfalls. It’s important to be with people that will help build you up and achieve success in your sobriety.”

It doesn’t help, he added, if you’ve come through a program and you’re trying to get your life on an even keel but all your friends want to do is go to the bar.

“I understand the triggers that go along with this because you don’t want to be an outcast,” Gonzales said. “Everyone wants to be accepted, and the hard part is finding people who won’t take you back to where you were.”

The holidays offer an opportunity to practice focusing on others with gratitude and joy. Adopting this perspective can take tremendous courage, the professionals at Hazelden have documented.

Hazelden has studied the benefits of looking for ways to think about others. Serve a meal at a homeless shelter, reach out to a newcomer to your community, go sledding with your children, spend time with a neighbor who is confined are all established ways to make it through stressful times.

“One of the things we work really hard on in this field is overcoming isolation, ” Gonzales said. “This is one of the demons that will creep in and drive people to drink or do drugs. What we do is to get people to be involved and engaged. Find a hobby, seek out people to help, go anywhere to keep your mind focused and occupied. We are our worst enemy. Those in recovery need to focus on staying busy with things that take their mind away from thinking about drinking. This is crucial.”

At social gatherings, it’s generally helpful to have something to drink in your hand. Mental health experts say to have a glass of water, lemonade, ice tea or a soda so people aren’t constantly offering you a drink.

Be proactive, Gonzales suggests.

If you are in a social situation and know you have a problem, get your own beverage, watch how it is being made and keep track of it, Gonzales said.

If you accidentally pick up the wrong drink and swallow alcohol, this doesn’t mean you will relapse but watch out for rationalizations that can creep in and derail the journey of sobriety.

“At a party, hmm. I guess I can handle this after all, well that was my thought,” said St. George resident Phillip July. “I find myself thinking that perhaps my period of abstinence has taught me how to control my drinking. I know that after more than 30 years of drinking this is false. One slip and I know that it’s easy to find myself back into a vicious cycle.”

It is also important to tell someone who is supportive of recovery about a slip as soon as possible. A mistake is not a relapse, but if it’s kept a secret it can quickly become a problem, Gonzales said.

“Yes, you have to avoid putting yourself in situations, but recovery comes over time. It takes a lot of hard work and concerted effort. It’s not about having guard dogs protecting you, but about transparency and letting people know you have a problem,” Gonzales added.

“Don’t beat yourself up over a stumble. We’re human. We make mistakes. Yes, you might stumble, but that’s part of the process.”

Families who are also in the eye of the storm – living in the midst of active addiction – have a difficult time knowing what to do especially during the busy holiday season.

“Individuals who are struggling should make every attempt to have good, positive relationships with their family because there is no better support group,” Gonzales said. “But, I’ve heard horror stories about families who have given up on their loved ones and that’s unfortunate. I’ve witnessed that families can be pretty harsh and downright candid.”

Mental healthcare professionals agree that it is important to welcome the holiday season with a plan to protect sobriety. Recovery they say is the “true and beautiful gift that keeps on giving.”

Having been sober for the past six years, July agrees.

“My sobriety means everything,” he said. “My doctor told me that if I had kept drinking that I was going to die sooner than later. I never really took it seriously until my liver began to fail, I started having health issues beyond belief and my wife left me. I guess everything turned out looking back, but I paid a high price to get to where I am today.”

For more information visit the National Institue on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Psychology Today, Skywood Recovery, Everyday Health and Alcoholics Anonymous.

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